Don't Believe Everything You Read

Sign O'The Times

As I walked out of Grand Central Terminal on Friday on my way to work I saw something that, as the memory of it lingers, makes me more and more sad and is a barometer of just how economically messed up this country is right now.  There was a man on the corner dressed in a suit wearing a sandwich board.  With all the promotions that go on outside of GCT it's not an unfamiliar site.  There are always people flyering you and handing you samples of some new product.  

This one was different.  

I didn't stop to to read the entire thing, but the man was in his mid-50's and the first line of the writing on the sandwich board was "Almost Homeless."  The next few lines were about how he was some sort of manager who lost his job recently and he was handing out his resume to anyone who would stop and take it.

9 hours later when I was headed home, I could see him from across the street.  Still wearing the sandwich board and still handing out resumes.  At least I saw someone stopping and talking to him and hope that maybe he got a lead or an interview and hopefully won't be "Almost Homeless." for much longer.

Captivated

I’m constantly amazed and annoyed by the people on the subway.  Not so much the other riders, though often I can’t stand them, but more so the people who take advantage of the captive audience.  The Preachers, the Musicians, the people supposedly raising money for the homeless.  Do they not realize that they are catching us at what is usually the worst part of our day and when we are quite possibly at our least charitable?

 

There are those that feel the need to just preach and spread the gospel for their entire ride, on the way to work.  Usually older women, you can never spot just which they will be.  But I can only imagine that after they exit the train they go off to their jobs working in Accounts Payable and no one who works with them realizes how they spend their commute. I often have the same preacher at the same time almost every morning who speaks/preaches in a voice that is vastly different from his speaking voice and I’m not sure if he realizes it is quite a comical one at that. 

 

One day I got on the subway and spotted someone who I just knew to be a Preacher.  Just before he could begin, he was pre-empted by a new entrant into the competition for captive commuters’ money, the Comedian.  While not very funny, the Comedian carried on with his shtick and I watched the Preacher open his mouth and then stop.  He then worked his way to the door near me and I could hear him grumbling the entire trip to the next stop about the Comedian, and I have to say his words were not exactly what you would wish to hear from a supposed man of the cloth.

 

This summer the Mariachi Bands were plentiful on the rails, all of various skills.  When heading to Yankee Stadium one Saturday this past summer, I took 4 different trains and was subjected to 3 Mariachi Bands.  That is easily 2 Mariachi Bands too many for any day.

 

The only ones I’m always impressed with are the young kids who will get on, place a boombox down, and in the small amount of available space, put on an acrobatic dance routine without touching another soul.  Their flipping, spinning on poles seems all the more impossible and impressive due to the fact that they are performing on a moving platform that is prone to sudden lurches and stops.

 

It is because of all these people that I never ride the subway without headphones on.  I never have music on so that I can hear what is going on around me and whether there have been train delays and just to keep track of what is going on in general on the train.  But I never take them off so that I have the excuse that I didn’t hear them.  This started because every now and then you get the crazy person who just wants to be heard and often is aggressive.  It is better to pretend you don’t hear them and are not aware of them then to have them get in your face.

 

I suppose I should be tolerant, but when it’s early in the morning or I’m exhausted after a long stressful day at work, the last thing I want to deal with is someone else forcing themselves upon me.  It makes me long for the days when I commuted to Connecticut on a real train every day, where I could just sit and read in silence.

Bathroom Reading on the Lower East Side

Subway Snapshot

Not that I'm a subway spy photographer or anything... but when I saw this guy with his little dog with its hat on... how could I not take the moment to sneak a photo and share it. I believe he was on to me, so thank god for the iPhone where you can be "using an app" or "looking for a song" and actually be surreptitiously snapping away. Seriously... how can you not want to take a picture of an older guy with his little dog in a hat in a mesh baby bjorn type carrier?

Punky Brewster All Growed Up

So I was on the subway coming home last night when who got on with her boyfriend? Punky Brewster! Or at the very least someone who idolizes her. I was particularly taken with her shoe selection which the photos don't quite capture... one hot pink patent leather Doc Martin and one green leather 20 hole Doc Martin. Her bag was also excellent... it featured tiny Twinky the Kid and other Hostess characters of a bygone era.


Everyone on the subway was staring at her... as you can see this lady to her left:

I Know It's Wrong...

Everytime I see this stop smoking ad (every morning in my subway station) I always think for the briefest of seconds that she's flashing me a gang sign.

Subway Hell

This morning I had one of those experiences that start the day off in such a way as you know there can be no good to come of it. I should have just turned right around and went back home.

1. No A/C on my 40 minute subway ride.
2. When I got a seat, the girl next to me decided that a crowded subway in the morning is the ideal time and place to remove her nail polish and put on a new coat.
3. A female crazy/subway preacher yammering on about God and Christ and us Sinners for 40 minutes in the background. I had forgotten my headphones at work on Friday so I couldn't drown her out.

Now at work I feel a bit sick and to top it off since I took Friday off there is so much to attempt to catch up on.

If you are ever on the subway in the morning and come across this trifecta... flee.

Only For Use On A Fire At An Art Museum

So a while ago I saw an article on a technology site about how to turn a fire extinguisher into a spray paint can of sorts… or a flamethrower. Here’s one such how-to article:

http://www.instructables.com/id/SU27VKUF3KLNUCB/

Just yesterday I was walking down the 3rd avenue and at 10th street I saw my first fire extinguisher tag:






Messy… but huge and pretty cool.

Grand Central Casting

I have started playing a new game on the subway to pass the time. I cast my fellow travelers in a movie based purely by their physical appearance and/or demeanor.

It started a couple weeks ago on the way from Brooklyn to Manhattan with my Fiance in a train that was about 1/4 full. I looked at one man sitting a few seats from me and realized that he would be perfectly cast as the "Gruff But Loveable Father Figure." It made me then take a closer look at my fellow straphangers and start placing them in their various stereotypical movie roles.

Two 18-22 year old girls sitting near each other, but not with each other. One of them Jewish and conservatively dressed reading a textbook, the other black and more stylish, reviewing what looked like work for school. I immediately cast them as the 2 "Bickering Intellectuals Who Can't Seem To Get Along Or Agree On Anything But In The End Realize They Are More Alike Than They Thought."

Across from me was a thuggish dressed young black man with a big build who would immediately be cast as the "Guy From The Wrong Side Of The Tracks That Eventually Sacrifices Himself To Save Everyone."

Also in the train at the time was the "Prissy Beauty Queen", "Nerdy Dead Meat", "Hysterical Mother", "Weaselly Traitor", "Frightened Children Who Go Into Shock", and "Goofy Best Friend Who Dies At The Beginning Of The Third Act."

Not everyone gets a role, those that I don't cast end up as extras.

Myself? I'm cast as the hero of course, with my Fiance as my love interest.